i am a submissive at heart searching deep within my soul. ask and i will tell…i am open minded,big hearted, and of course require slight redirection at times…all in all a hotlilmess. A mother of 3, a woman with needs, and a little girl deep down inside. This is my journey of submission, sexuality, BDSM lifestyle and much more. My journey began on a whim and ended up becoming a life altering experience. The first few posts will be how my journey began and how a training of on line submission ultimately brought my best friend of 20 years back to me and literally saved my marriage. i write with the intent to encourage exploration, share knowledge, and keep track of the millions of things that race through the mind of a 37 year old woman that finally has found her calling.